Finding my voice....

Because of wonderful technology and the internet, I can listen to the chanting of Shoshinge, Sanbutsuge, Sanbujo, and Juseige with the click of my mouse.  How fortunate I am.  How fortunate we all are.

Chanting of Shoshinge, Sanbutsuge, Sanbujo, and Juseige

Some days I need to hear the voices of others chanting; makes me feel not so alone.  It is so very nice to hear the blending of many voices, young and old, male and female.  I try to imagine the faces of the people chanting and wonder what their lives are like.

It warms my heart to hear another voice chanting.  We respond so naturally to the voice of another human.  Thinking back, remembering my Mother's voice calling me to come inside for the evening....calling me home.
I hear my Mother calling me to dinner....time to come home and receive the nourishment she prepared for my growing body.

I also like to think on the thousands and thousands of people before me that have chanted the Sutras.  The Wheel that was set in motion continues to turn today with the chanting of the Sutras and the Nembutsu.

I have a confession: I was afraid to chant in front of others or say the Nembutsu above a whisper many years ago.  I had to find my voice.  I had to find my confidence.  Sounds silly, I know, but that was me.

Once I started attending services regularly, my confidence began to grow.  I heard all sorts of voices chanting and saying Namu Amida Butsu.  Not everyone was on key, some chanted a little slower or faster, but it was the strength in the conviction of the chanting that impressed me the most.  The voices reflected the hearts of those surrounding me.  I was surrounded by Dharma friends that truly entrusted in living a life in the Nembutsu.

This brings me to a brief story;

I arrived in Kyoto, Japan two days before my Tokudo training was to begin.  I attended a morning service at the Hongwaji. Several women sat near me.  I could tell they were friend be the way the smiled and greeted each other.  Although I did not know anyone (or speak Japanese), I felt at home on the tatami mat in the Hondo. With my hands in gassho I said the Nembutsu loud and clear as it burst from my heart.  In that moment I heard some commotion coming from the back of the temple.  Rambling into the Hondo was an old man.  He was dressed in tattered clothes and I noticed the holes in his socks has he made his way passed me.  He made a beeline to the front of the Hondo.  It appeared to me that he wanted to get as close to the Amida as possible.  He fell to his knees and called out in a very loud voice "Namu Amida Butsu!  Namu Amida Butsu! Namu Amida Butsu!"  He was shouting to Amida.  He was calling out the Name with his whole being.  I thought to myself, "He really needs to talk to Amida this morning!"  Then the old man got up, bowed to Amida turned around and left the Hondo.  Some people seemed a bit shocked by his actions.  I was a bit shocked at first, too but then my shock turned to admiration.  I admired that old man's determination and focus.  He was not ashamed to cry out to Amida.  He came before Amida tattered and torn and shouted out Namu Amida Butsu!

From that moment on something changed in me.  It felt like something deep inside of me opened up and was no longer afraid.  I found my own voice.  I found my Nembutsu.  I hear Amida's voice calling me loud and clear and I shout back "Namu Amida Butsu!"

Have you found your voice?  If not, keep trying.  Listen to Amida calling you.  Listen to the compassion and  wisdom in the voices of your Dharma friends.  Find your voice, listen to your heart and shout, "Namu Amida Butsu!"


Thank you,
Jishin