Today has been a stressful day and I have no good answers to stop the emotional roller coaster I am on.
Amida is not magically going to "make it all better", no one is coming to "save" me...it is what it is.
The root of my suffering is planted deep in my own mind. I react to bad news, I cower when others are angry, and I choose to shut down emotionally when the going gets too rough...self preservation isn't always a pretty or healthy response.
So, you might ask, "where is your faith? Where is your Buddha?"
And I will respond by saying, "I have faith in the process that is beyond my control. I trust that compassion will make it's way into my heart and mind and help me to work through my thoughts, which in turn will help me to make better choices..Therein lies the wisdom that will find it's way through the muddy-ness of "me" and bloom right under my nose".
I trust in this process...I entrust to the working of Compassion and Wisdom...I'm embraced by Amida Buddha...
That's what I've got...that is what has got me...
Namo Amida Butsu!
Thank you,
Jishin
- Namu Amida Butsu
Wonderful wisdom in your words - "Amida is not magically going to 'make it all better'". When it's cold we don't try to run away from the cold. As Dogen said, when the monk his cold, the monk is "totally cold."
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. The Nembutsu has seen me through many difficult times. Namo
ReplyDeleteStill I am saved by the power of the Vow, in hard times especially and I often long for the Pure Land....
ReplyDelete